The Fall Of The Fallen
by Wakkowarnerlover
Summary: The OWCA is attacked by an unknown enemy who seems to be trying to kill the agents off one by one, luckily with no success. When an attempt is made on Perry's life, it's up to Phineas and Ferb to figure out how to protect the animal agents and stop the would-be killer before someone actually gets murdered. THIS STORY IS PART OF A SERIES, SOME THINGS MAY BE CONFUSING AS A STANDALONE
1. Chapter 1

**This story is part of a series and may be a bit confusing without reading the previous stories - but the main thing you'll need to know is that the boys and Candace can understand Perry via translator, and Monogram is aware of the boys knowing about Perry! Happy reading!**

Baby Ned the narwhal waddled onto an empty stage and stood in the very center.

"What you awe about to see may shockily you." He said. "It may howwify you. It may even scaw you fow wife and cause you to hide undew da bed fow da west of youw days. You know why? Becawse dis is an ATTEMPTED MUWDEW MYSTEWY!"

"Woah, woah, woah." Alan the alligator ran onto the stage. "Baby Ned, what are you doing?"  
Baby Ned gestured with his fin out at the empty auditorium. "I am wawning da viewews."

"That's very considerate of you, Ned. But this could give them the wrong idea. Nothing in this is going to scar them for life and make them want to hide under the bed. Not to mention you're breaking the fourth wall."

"What's the fowth waw?"

"Talking about the fourth wall breaks the fourth wall. I've said too much already." Alan moved Baby Ned out of the way and stood in the center of the stage. "I'm going to modify Ned's warning a little bit for you all."

"Thewe's no one dere." Baby Ned informed him.

Alan glared at him and resumed speaking. "What Ned meant to say was that this will be an _attempted_ murder mystery, meaning no one's actually going to die. So if you're worried about that, don't be. No one will die, there will be no blood, gore or violence. Well, maybe fistfighting violence, but that's about it."

"But thewe wiw be butts." Baby Ned said.

Alan sighed. "No, Baby Ned. There will not be butts."

"But I just said da word butts. And so did you. So thewe awe awready butts."

"There will be humor, of course, this is pretty much just like normal… as a matter of fact, I don't know why we're warning you, since no one's gonna die and there's no incredibly disturbing violence…"

"Pwus you hawve a butt." Baby Ned observed. "And so do many of da animaws at da O.W.C.A. So thewe wiw be butts."

"…Okay, Ned. …Yeah. So, it's just like normal." Alan said. "Except it will, as Baby Ned said, be an Attempted Murder Mystery. Could be a rather humorous and interesting ride. When it's not suspenseful, I mean. So, if you delve into this tale expecting some sort of play about cows… well, we warned you. Okay, maybe there will be cows mentioned at some point. But still."

"May da butt be wif you." Baby Ned said.

"Okay, cut." Pinky took off his director's beret and wiped his brow. "Alan, that was great. Baby Ned… um… did you make up those lines yourself?"

"I did." Baby Ned said proudly.

"That's wonderful." Pinky sighed. "I can already see my play is going to be a hit."

* * *

 _6_

 _To give them the ability to say that they hadn't been warned would truly have put a dent in my conscience; indeed I am not attempting to in any way cause anyone any kind of unfair grief; and to not warn them would have been just so; therefore I did as anyone would do in this situation. The warning came in the form of the car, the car of Preston Leland's son, to be precise, and in swift movements, I sabotaged the engine quite well enough to satisfy my needs. Not to kill, mind you; to injure, in such a way that would be of a fair warning to them, so that when Preston Leland later stood alone among it all, he would have no more to say other than "I was warned"._

Perry turned to chapter seven of his novel and began to immerse himself in the story. He had already been interrupted three times…

"Perry, you've got to help me." Pinky said.

"AGH." Perry threw his book against the wall. "SERIOUSLY? I've been reading the SAME SENTENCE over and over and I just now got to the next one. ANYONE ELSE WANT TO BARGE IN AND GET IT OVER WITH?"

"I need your help."

"Not now, Pinky."

"After that?"

"I'm counting the number of hairs on my body." Perry said.

"PLEASE, Perry. I'm directing the play 'Wait - So No One's Actually Dead?' and I cast Alan and Baby Ned as the lead speakers for the warning at the beginning."

"…Baby Ned?"

"I thought he'd be a cute speaker! But all he wants to do is talk about butts and scarring people for life! He won't do anything I tell him!"

"Baby Ned doesn't take much direction. Why are you directing some play? We don't have any holidays coming up. Besides the New Year. Are we having a New Year celebration or something?"

"I just wanted to try my hand at directing." Pinky said, rubbing his beret. "You never know. I could end up with some hidden talent. Celeste says Chihuahuas have a natural talent for the arts."

"Ohhh. I get it." Perry fished his book out of the trash can it had landed in. "This is about wooing the new girl."

"Well, it's not like you're the only one allowed to have a love life." Pinky folded his arms.  
Perry shook a tissue out of his book. "Chase 'em and they run."

"Ignore them and they leave you." Pinky retorted.

"I send her flowers when I can't find time to see her." Perry said. He sat back down in his seat and tried to find his place. "Seriously, Pinky. Don't drive yourself insane trying to impress her. She'll like you on her own. Or at least fire Ned."

"I can't fire him. Haven't you seen his adorable little narwhal eyes?"

"Just give him a pack of fruit gummies and tell him you don't need his help anymore. He'll run off, happy as can be, and try to glue them to Ernest's head. Which is one of the best fruit gummy usage options aside from actually eating them."

"What are you reading, anyway?" Pinky asked.

"A riveting novel about some girl who meets some guy and they start a wool sweater company together."

"Oh, is that 'My Heart Beats Only For Ewe'?" Pinky asked. "I heard that was really good."

"Yeah." Perry shrugged. "The romancey parts are kind of boring. But I like the part when Sheldon Sheep drop-kicks a pizza box. Now get out of here so I can read."

* * *

"Sir?"

"What is it, Norm?" Doofenshmirtz asked, tightening the last bolt on his inator. He took a step back and surveyed the results.

Not bad. The cottonball-inator would surely help him take over the tri-state area this time. Perhaps even with time to spare. He could grab a pizza with Perry the platypus afterward.

"You asked me to get the mail." Norm the robot walked into the room. He had a frying pan on his head.

"Yeah, I…" Doofenshmirtz turned around. "What's with the frying pan?"

"It is my new hat." Norm said.

"Remind me to reboot your brain one of these days." Doofenshmirtz said. "Where's the mail?"

"Right here." Norm pulled a letter from his pocket and handed it to Doofenshmirtz.

"What's this? Some letter from…" Doofenshmirtz tore the envelope open and scanned its contents. "Oh, great. My old teacher Dr. Gevaarlijk is coming to visit Danville again. Like I want a repeat of that last visit. Maybe I'll go on vacation real quick or something."

"But sir, you promised me we would go ice skating!" Norm said dejectedly.

"Look, Norm, life is full of disappointment and sometimes we have to just-"

A loud crashing noise sounded outside. Doofenshmirtz jumped. He whirled around to face the balcony.

Smoke was rising from the street down below.

"What the-"

Doofenshmirtz and Norm went over to peer over the edge of the balcony.

Way down below, a smashed car sat next to the building. The left side of the building was missing a chunk of bricks. People and policemen were running toward the car.

One man was running away from the car, holding something above his head. "MY WATERMELON!"

"I didn't do it." Doofenshmirtz called down.

* * *

"You know what's boring, Ferb?" Phineas asked, standing on his head.

Ferb shrugged.

"Not having anything to do today. Can't you think of something?"

"We could build a rocket."

"Done it already."

"Fight a mummy."

"Done."

"Climb up the Eiffel tower."

"That's a good one. How were you able to come up with that so fast?"

Ferb shrugged.

"Should we recreate the one we built or climb the one in Paris?" Phineas asked.

"Hm." Ferb said. "Decisions, decisions."

Perry wandered into the room.

"Oh, there you are, Perry." Phineas said. "You can help us decide. Real Eiffel tower, or recreation?"

"I pick fuchsia." Perry patted down a spot on Ferb's bed and curled up.

"Let me guess." Phineas said. "You're too tired to help us with today's project."

"Correct." Perry yawned. "Spent the entire morning fighting Doofenshmirtz and the entire afternoon giving Pinky romantic advice. Ideal morning, not-so-much afternoon."

Perry's phone buzzed.

"Phone." Ferb said.

"Can't reach it." Perry mumbled. "See who it is. If it's from E. Eagle, it's not important. Why are you guys starting on today's project so late?"

"We couldn't think of anything to do." Phineas said. "It was a slow morning."

Ferb checked Perry's phone. "Oh dear. Not gonna be a slow afternoon."

"Why?" Perry asked.

Phineas looked over Ferb's shoulder. "Oh no. The text is from Major Monogram. It says someone named Nicky crashed their car into Doofenshmirtz's building. They're ok, but the Major wants all agents at the agency immediately."

"Nicky?" Perry sat up. "That's the General's son. I'm sorry, boys. I have to-"

"Go." Phineas said. He handed Perry his phone. "We know. Let us know what happened."


	2. Chapter 2

Perry ran into the main room. The agents were already seated at the huge, long table in the center of the room. Major Monogram stood at the front.

Perry suddenly slipped. He fell face-forward on the ground and slid across the room, clunking his head against the one empty chair in the room.

He stood up and put a hand against his forehead. A few of the agents were giggling. Ernest the eagle had a small hint of a smirk on his face.

Perry grimaced and sat down in the chair. Pheobe the penguin smiled shyly at him.

"That was really good sliding." She said quietly. "My daddy couldn't even slide that good, and he was a professional ice slider."

"Everyone, please quiet down." Monogram said. "As I informed you all earlier… the General's son Nicky lost control of his car and crashed into Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. this afternoon. Upon inspection we discovered the engine had been tampered with. We already questioned Doofenshmirtz. He had nothing to do with the incident. Nicky was unhurt, fortunately. But I want you all to be on high alert. The vehicle was tampered with. This could mean someone is deliberately trying to attack the O.W.C.A. We don't know for sure at this point. But we definitely know that there is a potentially dangerous villain on the loose, and I want you all to keep your eyes open."

Peter tilted his head back.

Monogram watched him for a few seconds.  
"You can blink, Agent Peter." He said.

Peter looked relieved.

* * *

Perry tapped on Phineas. "Help."

"Oh, Perry! You're back!" Phineas shut off the computer and turned to face him. "How'd it-"

"Help." Perry pointed at his left arm.

Phineas stared at it. "What happened?"

"I slipped and fell in the main room and I guess there was gum lying on the floor somewhere and it stuck to my arm and made a huge gummy fur wad and I can't get it out."

"Huh." Phineas said. "I think we can get it out with peanut butter. We may still have some in the cabinet if Ferb hasn't gotten hungry yet."

"Peanut butter?" Perry demanded. "You mean to tell me that you built a roller coaster, traveled through time, built a beach in your backyard and raised cows on the moon, but you still don't have a device that magically removes gum from fur?"

"Just hold on." Phineas climbed up on the kitchen counter and opened the top cupboards.

"Hold on?! I have a giant wad of dirt and someone else's spit stuck in my arm hair. And I don't even know what KIND of spit. It could be deer spit. Monkey spit. Cockatoo spit."

"Cow spit." Ferb said, coming into the kitchen. "Brother, I was just about to use that."

Phineas climbed back down from the counter and unscrewed the jar. "Perry needs it to get the dirt-and-animal-spit-flavored gum out of his fur."

"Can I have it after you get it out?" Ferb asked.

"EW." Perry gagged. "Phineas, don't let him have it."

"I was referring to the peanut butter." Ferb said.

"There will still be peanut butter left after." Phineas said. He grabbed a fistful from the jar and began rubbing it on Perry's arm.

"Ew. This feels disgusting." Perry cringed.

Ferb grabbed a knife from the drawer and began to scoop peanut butter onto a slice of bread.

"Seriously, Ferb? Phineas just stuck his entire hand in there."

"It's not like I never wash my hands." Phineas said.

"Germs." Perry shuddered.

"See, it comes right off with peanut butter." Phineas rolled the gum out of Perry's fur and tossed it in the trash. "There you go. Now you can wash your arm off."

"And then we shall have lunch together." Ferb said, taking a bite from his sandwich.

Perry rinsed his arm off in the kitchen sink. "Bleck. You know what's really weird? Someone had to actually FIND OUT that peanut butter gets gum out of hair. Which means someone actually TRIED it before it was discovered that it works."

"That's how the best inventions are invented." Phineas said.

"Imagine. Someone had to figure out how to open the first banana." Ferb said.

"There." Perry rubbed his arm dry with a towel. "Okay, I'm going back to bed. Have fun with your sandwiches."

"By the way, how did the thing at the agency go?" Phineas asked. "What happened?"

"Nicky's engine was sabotaged, so we're supposed to be on high alert. The security agents are gonna look into it, though, so I don't really have to do anything."

"That's scary." Phineas said. "Someone wanted him to crash his car?"

"Yeah. My guess is that he had a girlfriend or something that got mad at him and did it. But Monogram thinks someone could be deliberately trying to attack the O.W.C.A."

"Why attack Nicky, then?" Ferb asked. "Why not attack Monogram?"

"That's what I'm confused about." Perry said. "Nicky's not affiliated with the agency. He just so happens to be the son of the General."

"Is the General in charge of the whole O.W.C.A?" Phineas asked.

"Yes." Perry said.

"Then maybe they're trying to threaten him by going after Nicky." Phineas said. "So he will do whatever they ask or something."

Perry nodded. "…Maybe. It's just really strange. Anyway. I'll see you guys in a few hours."

* * *

 _8_

 _It was the shape of the lamp that drew me to it, really, it was rectangular; the only rectangular one in the room. It was not me that chose Henry next, but the lamp; that was why it was Henry and no one else first of all; and if you want me to stop using a semicolon as I write you are out of luck; this is the best way to communicate my tale. So let it be clear that Henry was not chosen for any reason at all other than the fact that he was standing near the lamp when my carefully planned attack went into action._

"I guess I'm okay with the cottonball-inator not working out." Doofenshmirtz said, grabbing a slice of pizza from the tray in the middle of the table and sticking it on his plate. "This way, we definitely have time for pizza. But tomorrow I'll win, Perry the platypus. I promise you that."

Perry tore off a huge chunk of pizza and chewed it hungrily. He had been forced to miss breakfast that morning because Doofenshmirtz had decided to activate the cottonball-inator early.

"Slow down." Doofenshmirtz said. "Don't choke or someone might think I did it. Like they did with that stupid car thing yesterday. I can't believe they thought it was me. It was just some reckless driver…"

Perry took another huge bite.

"You eat your pizza very violently, Perry the platypus. Is that how platypuses eat in the wild? Do they rip and tear the flesh from their prey like my Mama Ocelot used to? Or are you just overly hungry?"

Perry hiccupped.

"You know what's funny? Some people hiccup the word 'hiccup'. But you have the kind of hiccup that leaves the 'cup' part out. It's just 'hic'. I wonder what that says about you, like, as a person. You know, handwriting says stuff, so why not hiccups? Hic people and Cup people and Hiccup people must all have some kind of difference, right?"

Perry stuffed the rest of the pizza into his mouth.

"It's nice to have a friend." Doofenshmirtz said. "I mean, I guess we were kind of friends before, but now that we've actually admitted it… it's nice. Now we can just go out and do something fun together after a thwarting. Did you notice I'm wearing my Vance Ward Signature Cologne? I squirted less on my wrist this time."

Perry looked over Doofenshmirtz's shoulder and frowned. He recognized that woman seated at the table behind them… where had he seen her before…

"What?" Doofenshmirtz turned around. "What are you-"

The woman caught Doofenshmirtz's eye and stood up. "Heinz? Is that you?"

"Hide me." Doofenshmirtz slammed his head against the table and threw his napkin over himself.

"I have days like that, too." Perry said.

"It's no use hiding, Heinz. I can still see you." The woman said, coming over to their table. She was very short and had large, round glasses. Her blond hair was tied up in a large bun.

Now Perry remembered her. She was Dr. Gevaarlijk, the professor Doofenshmirtz could never impress.

"Is this your nemesis?" Dr. Gevaarlijk asked, scrutinizing Perry. Perry decided he didn't like her expression. "Why is he eating pizza at your table?"

"I'm not here." Doofenshmirtz squeaked from under the napkin.

Dr. Gevaarlijk lifted up the napkin and peered at him. "Oh, Heinz. You haven't changed a bit since the last time I saw you. It's a pity, really. I always hoped that one day you would improve… but you have failed to in any way."

Perry spit a piece of cheese at her. It landed on her dress.

Dr. Gevaarlijk grimaced and quickly wiped it off with Doofenshmirtz's napkin. "And to top it all off, your nemesis is badly behaved and does not seem to have any hatred for you. Well, I do hope I don't run into you during my time here anymore. Goodbye, Heinz."

She left the restaurant. Perry eyed her table.

"Hey, she left some cinnamon toast crusts." Perry said. "I declare them forfeit. Let's eat 'em."

Doofenshmirtz looked like he was trying very hard not to cry.

Perry tried to meet his gaze, but Doofenshmirtz wouldn't look him in the eye. Perry went over to Gevaarlijk's table and brought over the cinnamon toast crusts. He dipped one in frosting and held it out to Doofenshmirtz.

Doofenshmirtz finally smiled a little and took it.

* * *

"Oh, Herman." Clara the chicken sighed. "You were always so nice to me."

"Yeah." Sierra the snowy owl said. "You always shared your carrot sticks with me."

"He's not dead, guys." Darren said. "He's just knocked out."

Darren, Sierra, Clara and Peter were all standing at Herman the hedgehog's bedside in the O.W.C.A hospital. Herman was snoozing peacefully. His spines were slightly blackened on the edges.

"I brought you some blueberries, Herman." Peter said, holding out a pawful to show the sleeping hedgehog. "But since you're asleep, you have no use for them. So I shall eat them in your honor."

Peter quickly tossed the blueberries into his mouth and gulped them down.

Everyone watched him.

Perry burst into the room. "I just heard. What happened?"

"I ate the blueberries." Peter said.

"No, what's with Herman? Why is he in the hospital?"

"He was fixing some faulty wiring at the agency and it blew." Darren shrugged. "I didn't hear all the details. But he's gonna be okay. He's just sleeping now. He wasn't too badly hurt."

"Wait, he's gonna be okay?" Sierra asked. "In that case, I'm gonna go before I miss that minigolf game Yves invited me to."

She scrambled from the room.

"Herman, I thought you were seriously hurt." Peter said. "How dare you scare me like that?"

"I told you guys he was okay when you got here." Darren said.

"Faulty wiring?" Perry asked. "Herman doesn't fix wiring. Peter does. Herman's specialty is disguising himself as round objects, not fixing wiring."

"I don't know exactly what happened." Darren said. "I just heard something explode. When I turned around, Herman was lying unconscious on the ground, and Admiral Acronym's table lamp was just soot. A shame. That was a nice lamp."

Perry looked at him.

"Oh, yeah. And it stinks that Herman got hurt, too."

Perry set a bunch of flowers down on the bedside table. "Hope you feel better, Herman."

"Since he is not awake, I shall give the flowers to my new girlfriend in his honor." Peter said.

"No, no you won't." Perry said. "…Weird, isn't it? First Nicky crashes into Doofenshmirtz's building, and then Herman explodes? Two completely unrelated accidents… so close to each other?"

"Could just be one of those things." Peter shrugged.

"Or someone could be after the agency." Perry said. "After… us."


	3. Chapter 3

_10_

 _Again, as with Henry, Joe was not chosen by my own hand by any means; he simply had a glass that differed from the others; there were twelve glasses with orange liquid and only two with red; since the red drew me to it; it was then that at random I selected one of them; and so, narrowed down from the fourteen originally there; it was by the uniqueness and randomness of the glass that Joe was chosen; I did not select him to be the second on my own. It was so to be; and so I added in that which I created myself; untraceable and without known pair…_

"Whoops." Phineas said, dropping his ice cream a second time.

The ice cream man sighed. "Are you sure you wouldn't prefer a cup, Phineas?"

"Well, okay." Phineas said. "Thanks."

The ice cream man gave him a cup of ice cream. Phineas, Ferb and Perry left the cart and began wandering around the park.

"I love this park." Phineas said. "I've been coming here since I was a baby."

"And dropping your ice cream here as long as I've known you." Ferb said.

"It's hard to keep it on the cone." Phineas said.

"I like that about Phineas and ice cream cones." Perry said. "When he drops it, I get to eat it."

"I don't get how you can be afraid of germs and still eat things off of the floor." Phineas said.

"My animal instincts are constantly fighting against my personal conscience, but in the end, the ice cream always wins." Perry said.

"What shall we do?" Ferb asked.

"We could go on the swings." Phineas said.

"Swings are so pointless. It's like, I'm here. Now I'm there. Now I'm here. Now I'm there. I wonder who invented them in the first place."

"The same man who discovered peanut butter and gum." Ferb said.

Perry laughed. "Yes."

They headed toward the swings.  
"Hey, look. There's Vanessa." Phineas pointed. "Standing by the water fountain."

"And Monty." Perry waved. "Hi, Lovebirds. You know, I like both of them, but couples always annoy me. Doesn't matter who they are. They always are so cutesily into each other. I guess I was just single for so long that I went past the point of ever appreciating love. Look, they're engaging in sarcastic banter. So cute I wanna hurl."

"You have a girlfriend." Phineas reminded him.  
"I know. I disgust myself." Perry turned around. "Where's Ferb?"

Phineas shrugged. "I dunno. Usually he's next to me."

"Here." Perry handed Phineas his ice cream and dove into the bushes. He crawled through and came to the end of the park that held the jungle gym.

Ferb was sitting at the very edge of the fence with his face in his hands.

Perry went over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, buddy. You okay? What happened?"

"Go away." Ferb mumbled.

"Did we say something that upset you?"

Ferb said nothing.

"Look, if we did, let me know so we don't do it again."

"It's not you." Ferb said.

"Did the ice cream taste so bad it made you cry?"

Ferb laughed a little. He lifted his head up and wiped his eyes. "No."

"What was it, then? The swings? Did they remind you so much of mood swings that you ended up getting one?"

Ferb smiled.

"That was a terrible attempt at a joke. At least it made you smile, but dang, I'm really losing my touch."

"Did you ever really like someone, Perry?" Ferb asked. "And then not say anything, and then they found someone else?"

"Oh. So it was the couple that bugged you. Well, not specifically, but I can identify. I went through a pretty rough breakup years ago. But it turned out okay. I didn't know you liked someone."

Ferb shrugged.

"You don't have to talk about 'em. Anyway, I wouldn't know anything about losing someone because I kept quiet. But I'm pretty sure it's the same pain. Loving someone and not having them love you back. It'll be okay, Ferb. It just means that there's still someone out there for you. Who knows, maybe there's even someone out there for your cow."

Ferb grinned.

Phineas crawled through the bush. "Ferb, what happened?"

"He wanted to secretly talk to me about shoehorns." Perry said.

"And acorns." Ferb said.

"What happened to our ice cream?" Perry asked.

"I ate it." Phineas said.

"You ate my ice cream? I told you to hold it for me!"

"No, you told me 'here' and handed it to me. I thought it was a gift."

Perry sighed. "You're a problem child."

Suddenly his watch beeped. He looked down at it. A picture of Terry the turtle flashed onto its face. Peter the panda was running back and forth in the background, shouting "WE ARE DOOMED!"

"I just saw someone in a dark suit go to the rear of the O.W.C.A. We need backup to surround him. This could be our attacker. All agents." Terry said.

"Sorry, boys." Perry switched his watch off and pulled out his jetpack. "Duty calls."

"Where the heck do you keep that thing?" Phineas asked.

"Perry doesn't question our ability to bend the laws of the universe." Ferb said. "We should do the same for him."

* * *

Perry landed near the east wing of the O.W.C.A and pulled out his grappling gun. He quickly snuck around to the back.

Ernest the eagle was walking next to him, shoulders hunched, raygun at the ready.

"What are you doing here?" Ernest hissed.

"They called for backup." Perry whispered.

"Not _you_." Ernest said. "This is too dangerous for a small agent."

"You're too dangerous for a small agent." Perry mocked.

"What does that even mean?" Ernest snapped.

"Shush."

They slipped around the corner and saw him instantly. The figure in black was trying to unlock the back door of the O.W.C.A with a bobby pin.

Many other agents came around from the sides and the garden. The figure was surrounded, and he hadn't even noticed.

"FREEZE!" Randy the reindeer suddenly called out.

The figure jumped and whirled around. His mask slipped, revealing his face.

"It's Dastardly Drago!" Charlisse the chameleon exclaimed. "My nemesis!"

The agents rushed forward and jumped him. Perry landed on the top of the pile. He smacked the body below him on the head.

"OW!" Ernest shouted. "That's me, Agent! Cut it out!"

"I'm sorry, Ernest. I can't hear you. Did you say 'Hit him harder'?"

The pile broke apart into a circle after a few minutes of scuffling.

Brandon the bulldog stood proudly in the center, holding a rather dazed-looking Dastardly Drago by the shirt collar, who was in handcuffs.

"Let's bring him in." Ernest said.

* * *

"All fourteen of you were very brave." Monogram said. "You managed to stop Dastardly Drago from stealing the money in the O.W.C.A safe. He will now be sent to our prison, where he will no longer be able to perform any dastardly deeds. Not to worry, Agent C, you will be reassigned to a new nemesis shortly. I am assuming that since this has been the third attack on something agency-related this week…"

"We got him!" Darren shouted.

Monogram smiled. "You will all receive bonuses for a job well done. Brandon the bulldog, Randy the reindeer, Ernest the eagle, Darren the duck, Charlisse the chameleon, Perry the platypus, Devon the dog, Erica the ermine, Jack Russell the Jack Russell Terrier, Sandra Unice the sea urchin, Franklin the flamingo, Terry the turtle, Magdalena the mongoose and Otis the owl, thank you."

Otis bowed.

Terry clapped his hands.

Sandra Unice moved a spine.

* * *

"I think that was one of the easiest catches we've ever had." Darren said.

"That's what I'm worried about." Perry said. "That was too easy. Dastardly Drago couldn't have been our attacker."

"Why not? Because he was so easy to catch? That's a ridiculous theory."

"He has a point, though." Charlisse said. "That's not Drago's style to try and hurt two people. All he ever goes after is money. All of his schemes are money-related."

"How would you know?" Darren asked.

"Well… I am his nemesis." Charlisse said.

"No more arguing." Brandon said. "This is a celebration dinner. We're all supposed to be enjoying ourselves."

"It's a shame my Carrie dear couldn't come." Devon said. "This is such a fancy place. Perfect for a date."

"What would that make all of us, thirteenth wheels?" Perry asked.

"I'm gonna order lettuce." Said Terry the turtle.  
"Who's paying?" Perry asked. "Because I'm ordering egg noodles. Unless Ernest's paying, and then I'm ordering everyone a steak dinner."

Ernest narrowed his eyes. "Be quiet, Agent."

"Hey. Everyone." Franklin said. "Just chill."

The waiter came by and set down everyone's drinks.

Darren looked at Perry's. "Just water?"

"Water is lovely." Perry said, taking a sip. "We're mostly made of water. It is vital to us."

"Yeah, but you could have gotten orange juice or something fun. Why just water?"

"I like water. You know what's crazy? This one time, I was playing this quiz game online about Vance Ward, and one of the questions was 'What is Vance Ward's favorite drink?' and the options were water, orange soda, and milk. Naturally, I picked water. It said I was wrong. I was like, how can Vance Ward's favorite drink NOT be water? It's the reason he's alive. He can't live without water. I bet you he drinks water waayyyy more than he does milk or orange soda. That quiz was a lie."

"Did I ever tell you about the time my older brother Darsie drank clear milk thinking it was water?" Devon said.

"How does clear milk even exist?" Darren asked.

"It exists." Devon said. "All you have to do is put clear food coloring in milk."

"There's no such thing as clear food coloring." Darren said.

"Sure there is. It's made with real clear color extract." Devon said.

"Clear isn't a color!"

Perry put a hand to his head. Something didn't feel right.

"Oh yeah?" Devon stood up. "Wanna fight about it? Let's go. Right here. Right now."

Perry took a deep breath. "I need to go."

"No, you can stay, Perry." Devon said. "Darren and I will take this outside."

"Take WHAT outside? Clear is not a color, end of story!" Darren spat.

"No… I just… I need to…" Perry stood up. "My stomach really hurts. I need to throw up."

"TMI." Ernest said.

Perry suddenly fell. He clutched the side of the table in an attempt to keep himself upright.

The other agents stood up.

"Perry, you okay?" Darren asked.

"No…" Perry could feel himself slipping. He couldn't hold himself up anymore. "No… no… I'm going… to…"

Devon ran over to him and caught him before he hit the ground.

"Get help!" Ernest was shouting. "Don't just stand there, someone get help! Seriously, thirteen completely able-bodied agents, and not one of you can go run for help? GET MOVING!"

 _Wait a minute… I know this… fourteen people... with drinks… the lamp… the car…_

"Tell the boys…" Perry gasped. "Tell them… M… equals… Y two… minus Y one… over X two… minus X… one…"

"Okay." Devon said. "Whatever that means."

"Perry, just hold on. We're getting you help. It's gonna be okay." Darren sat down next to him.

"Tell them… I love them… tell them…" Perry was having a hard time breathing.

"It's okay, Perry. You'll be all right. Don't worry. You'll get help."

Everything went black.

"Agency hospital." Ernest said. His voice sounded very far away. "Let's go."


	4. Chapter 4

_12_

 _Jones; what can I say about him; other than the fact that he was in the wrong place at the wrong time; or in my case; in the right place at the right time. A shame for him that he was to be the next, and therefore the one that I had to use most caution with; as Henry and Joe had alerted to them as to what was going on. I found it strange that Henry and Joe, not my initial warning, caused them alarm; but I suppose that was to be expected; the car had appeared to be an accident; and so, with Jones, I was forced to use my wits to create a plan that none would be watching out for; the one thing I had on my side was that none knew that I was targeting… all._

"He's at least stable now." The doctor said, leading Monogram, Carl and the other animals down the hall of the O.W.C.A hospital. "We were worried he wasn't going to do make it through the procedure, but he survived. He's very strong. We got the majority of the poison out of his system. Unfortunately, there's still enough to make him sick. We're going to do our best to keep him stable until we can analyze the poison used, match it with its antidote, and cure him." The doctor stopped in front of one of the doors and opened it. "Go on in. He's tired, so he may be a little confused."

Monogram went in first. The animals slowly filed in, followed by Carl.

Monogram knelt down next to the sleeping Perry, teary-eyed. "Oh, Agent P... who will I complain to about the food selection in the cafeteria now?"

"You awake, Perry?" Darren asked.

Perry slowly opened his eyes. He looked wearily up at Monogram. "M…mom?"

"That's Monogram, Agent." Ernest said.

"Mom…" Perry said.

"We'll try to contact her." Ernest said. "How are you?"

"Did… did the boys build something today?" Perry asked weakly.

"I'm sure they did." Darren said.

"Good." Perry closed his eyes again.

"We need to find out who's doing this." Monogram stood up. "Someone is definitely going after the agents now. Someone injured Agent H and poisoned Agent P. We need to get to the bottom of this before there are any more accidents. This attacker is attempting to kill. Excuse me. I need to ask the doctor a few more questions." Monogram left the room.  
"I think Perry may know who it was." Devon said. "He asked me to tell the boys something really weird. Sounded like code or something. Maybe he figured it out."

"What did he say?" Ernest asked.

Devon looked down at the napkin in his paw. "Em equals why two minus why one over ex two minus ex one."

Ernest frowned. He took the napkin from Devon and scribbled something underneath it.

M = Y2 – Y1

X2 – X1

"Oh, yeah." Devon said. "I guess that makes more sense."

"Wonderful, he asked you to tell his owners about point-slope formula." Ernest rolled his eyes.

"Maybe it means something." Devon said. "Something only the boys will understand."

"Well, Perry did say once he wanted his last words to be numbers." Darren said. "Maybe he just thought he was dying, and that didn't have anything to do with the person who poisoned him."

Ernest huffed. "He jokes around too much for his own good."

"But that wasn't the last thing he said." Devon said. "I'm sure this means something."

"D…did the boys build something today?" Perry asked suddenly.  
"Yes, Agent." Ernest said sternly. "Go back to sleep."

"Wait." Devon held the napkin in front of Perry's face. "Perry, what does this mean?"

Perry squinted. "What… what is it?"

"It's the point-slope formula. The thing you told me to tell the boys."

Perry closed his eyes. "Elephant tap shoes."

"Elephant… tap shoes?" Devon asked.

"He's confused, Agent." Ernest said. "He's confused from the painkillers. He doesn't know what he's saying."

"All the same…" Devon said. "I think I'd better get it to them. I'll be right back. I need to call my Carrie dear. She's probably worried."

He started to leave the room.

"Oh, and Darren… clear is a color."

"DEVONNNNN!" Darren shouted.

* * *

"Find anything?" Phineas asked.

"Six rocks and an acorn." Ferb said, holding out his hand. "The acorn was buried in the snow. We can make acorn cheese."

"What's acorn cheese?" Phineas took one of the rocks and tossed it in the air.

Ferb broke open the acorn. "See, the inside of an acorn looks like cheese. So we can cut it in slices like cheese and feed it to squirrels."

"Cool." Phineas looked up at the sky. "Wow, it's dark. I forgot it was so late. We should probably get home."

"Time flies with acorn cheese." Ferb said.

Phineas's phone began to ring. He picked it up. "Hi, mom. We're coming."

"Phineas, this is Monogram."

"Oh, hi, sir. Is everything okay?"

"Listen… Agent P was poisoned. We got him to the agency hospital in time and he's going to be all right. But he may be in there for a while. They just analyzed a sample of the poison and found that it isn't one they recognize, so it will be difficult to get an antidote. In the meantime they're going to keep him in the hospital. He's still got some traces of poison in him that are making him sick, so they have to monitor him until they can get an antidote that will neutralize it."

"Oh, no…" Phineas felt his stomach drop. "Oh no… can we see him? Are we allowed to come see him?"

"Yes. I'll give you directions." Monogram said. "He may not be very talkative. He's been sleeping for most of the time…"

"That's okay. We'll be right there." Phineas grabbed Ferb's arm. "Where do we go?"

* * *

"Who did this to you, buddy?" Phineas asked softly.

Perry continued to sleep. Ferb patted him gently on the head.

"I wonder if he can hear us. He probably can." Phineas said. "It's a good thing he's sleeping, though. It'll help him get better. I wish we knew what the poison was so we could find an antidote ourselves."

"Odd, isn't it, that there can be a kind of poison no one knows about." Ferb said.

"Yeah…" Phineas said. "Like… someone created a new chemical or something."

A dog came into the room, followed by a striped yellow cat. They stood by the bed and gazed at Perry.

"Are you some of Perry's friends?" Phineas asked.

The cat meowed.

The dog's eyes suddenly widened as though he had remembered something. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a napkin.

He handed it to Phineas.

"What's this?" Phineas asked. "Point-slope formula?"

The dog took the napkin back and scribbled something on it. He handed it back to Phineas.

 _PERRY TOLD ME TO TELL YOU THIS BEFORE HE PASSED OUT FROM THE POISON. I THINK HE MAY KNOW WHO DID IT. DOES IT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?_

Phineas frowned. He showed the napkin to Ferb, who shrugged.

"I think we'll need some outside help." Phineas said. "I don't remember ever having any conversation with Perry about point-slope formula."

* * *

"Yes, that is the point-slope formula." Baljeet said, inspecting the torn-off portion of the napkin holding the formula.

"But it's got to be more than that." Phineas said. "Has the formula ever meant something in history? Like as code? Or…"

"If it had numbers in it, it could make a graph or be a code." Baljeet said. "But this is just the formula. It really is not much more than that. It is just the point-slope formula, more fondly known as the formula of rise over run."

Phineas jumped up, knocking over the stool he was sitting on. "Rise over run! I remember Per- I mean, Ferb, I remember that friend of ours saying something like that once. It must be an inside joke we had. I remember him saying it kind of jokingly. What could it mean…"

Phineas closed his eyes and concentrated as hard as he could.

 _Rise over run._

 _Rise over run._

 _…Not to be confused with Rise over Run…_

Yes. That was what Perry had said. Now in what context…

 _"THE RISE OF THE RISEN! Not to be confused with Rise over Run."_

"I'VE GOT IT!" Phineas shouted. He opened his eyes. "Ferb, do you remember when you were reading this book and Per- our friend, I mean- was making fun of the title? He was talking about how its sequel should be called The Rise of the Risen: Not to be confused with Rise over Run."

Ferb snapped his fingers. "The Fall of the Fallen."  
"Yes!" Phineas said. "That's it! I bet whatever he's trying to tell us has to do with that book. Thanks, Baljeet!"

"Um… you are welcome, I guess…" Baljeet scratched his head. "I am not sure quite what I did to help, but…"

Phineas ran out of Baljeet's room. Ferb followed him.

* * *

"So where'd you put the book?" Phineas asked as they walked home.

Ferb squinted. "I can't remember. I don't think I ever got very far in it. Oh, wait… Perry got rid of it."

"Got rid of it? Did he tell you where he was putting it?"

"I think he sold it online." Ferb shook his head. "He said it was rather rare, as books come. I think he used some of the money he received from the sale to fund our inventions."

"Dang. How are we supposed to get a copy?"

"The book was written by a villain, if I remember correctly." Ferb said. "Perhaps Doofenshmirtz has a copy."

"There's a good idea." Phineas said. "He likes us. He'll probably let us borrow it."

"If he has one." Ferb said.

"He's got to have one. …I hope we really figured it out. It's kind of weird that Perry wants us to find a book, isn't it? I kind of thought he'd lead us to a person or something."

"Maybe the book's author." Ferb said. "The author was a villain, after all."

"That's right!" Phineas said. "Okay, so… let's find Doofenshmirtz and figure out the author. I'm really glad we figured this out. It's scary thinking there's someone out there who wants to get Perry…"

They set off for Doofenshmirtz's building. It was pretty easy to find his room once they got there. There was smoke coming from underneath the door.

Phineas knocked three times before Doofenshmirtz finally answered.

"Kind of in the middle of baking here- oh, it's you guys." Doofenshmirtz opened the door up. "Come on in. I heard what happened. I didn't do it, I swear. I was just about to deliver some baked goods-"

"We know you didn't do it." Phineas said. "But we believe we know who did. Do you know anything about the book The Fall of the Fallen? And its author?"

"Kneada Knap?" Doofenshmirtz asked. "Sure. But she couldn't have done it. She kicked the bucket two years ago."

"What bucket?" Phineas asked.

Doofenshmirtz sighed. "Just come in already. I gotta get the cookies out of the oven."


	5. Chapter 5

"Cookie?" Doofenshmirtz offered.

The boys took one look at the charred circles on the plate and shook their heads. Doofenshmirtz shrugged and set the plate down on the coffee table. "Your loss. So what's this about the book?"

"Perry led us to it." Phineas said. "We think it might have something to do with his poisoning."

"Since the author couldn't have done it, there must be something inside the book he wants us to find." Ferb continued.

"Do you happen to have a copy?" Phineas asked.

Doofenshmirtz shook his head. "Sorry. I'm a huge fan of evil literature, but that book was just creepy. I'm not a huge Knap fan. She had this huge band of evil followers back before L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N."

"Your organization is called… Lovemuffin?" Ferb asked.

"Yes, the League Of Villainous Evildoers Maniacally United For Frightening Investments in Naughtiness. Anyway, the O.W.C.A locked her up many, many years ago, back when my nemesis was this little brown dog named Declan or something. She was kind of crazy. She'd take hostages and stuff. Her book was really strange. It was about these two rival companies who get mad at each other and try to put each other out of business and then they go out for pizza. Wait… never mind, that was in the movie I saw last night. I honestly don't remember much about the book, but her evil followers loved it. I gave my copy away."

"Well, that stinks." Phineas said. "We had a copy, too. But Perry sold ours."

"Don't blame him." Doofenshmirtz said. "I heard it goes for about five hundred dollars on the Internet these days."

"Do you know where we might possibly get our hands on a copy?" Ferb asked.

"They stopped selling it after Knap was locked up." Doofenshmirtz said. "Sorry. I don't think there's really any place that sells it anymore. Maybe some used bookstores would have it lying around or something."

"Excuse me, sir." Said a loud voice. Norm came around the corner. "I couldn't help but overhear your conversation."

"Shut it, Norm." Doofenshmirtz said. "I'm talking."

"I just wanted to let your guests know that you can get great deals at used bookstores." Norm said, holding up a pale blue paperback. "I just got this book for only five dollars."

Phineas jumped up. "That's it! That's the book! Can we have it, Mr. Giant-Robot-That-I-Think-We-Chased-Into-A-River-Once?"

"Do you have anything to trade?" Norm asked.

"Uh…" Phineas reached into his pocket and pulled out a gummy candy. "How's this?"

"Thank you for your business." Norm handed Ferb the book and took the gummy candy from Phineas. He placed it on his head. "Look, sir, I have procured a new hat!"

Doofenshmirtz rolled his eyes.

Ferb opened up the book and started scanning the pages.

"Anything?" Phineas asked after a few minutes.

Ferb shrugged. "The prologue's all about how the narrator's company was about to get shut down because of another one, so she decided to take action."

Phineas sighed. "All that and we still don't have anything?"

"I'll keep reading." Ferb said. "There must be something Perry wanted us to find in this book."

Doofenshmirtz's large cuckoo clock started to chime. A crow popped out of the clock.

"CAW! CAW! IT'S NINE O'CLOCK PM! TIME FOR SOME EVIL TELEVISION!"

"Oh my gosh." Phineas said. "Mom and dad are probably worried. Ferb, I completely forgot. We've gotta get home! Thanks, Doofenshmirtz."

Ferb gave Doofenshmirtz a nod. He stuck the book in his pocket, and the two of them rushed home.

* * *

"So Perry sent you on this huge chase after some random book about this girl who hates her uncle's yogurt company?" Candace asked as she, Phineas and Ferb entered the O.W.C.A hospital.

"Yeah." Phineas said. "So I figured we'd ask him about it… now that we have the book, at least. Monogram said he was awake today."

Candace sighed. "Why couldn't we have just gotten a normal pet?"

Phineas rang the bell at the front desk. "Excuse me. Can we see Perry the platypus? He's the one that was poisoned."  
The woman nodded. "Room 205. He's a little tired and cranky today because of his medication, just so you know."

"Thanks." Phineas said. They started down the hall.

"A little cranky?" Candace asked. "Are you sure you want to see him today, Phineas?"

"Perry doesn't get too mad." Phineas said. "And he's never mad at us. He'll probably just be a little tired, is all."

Phineas knocked on door 205. There was no response.

They entered anyway.

The room looked more like a hotel room than a hospital room. It was decorated in pale greens and yellows, and there was a television sitting in front of Perry's bed. Paintings of boats and pine trees lined the walls. The IV drip and heart monitor near the bed kind of ruined the mood, but not by much.

Perry narrowed his eyes at them as they came in.

"Why are you here?"

"Um… they told us we could visit you today." Phineas said.

Perry looked out the window.

"We brought you some stuff." Phineas said. "We brought Snugglebear and some of your books. We couldn't get Hugglebear through the d-"

"That's fine."

"Okay." Phineas said quietly. He set Snugglebear down on the bed next to Perry. "Um… Perry, we found the book…"

"Good." Perry said.

"Uh… we don't really know what you were trying to tell us with it." Phineas said. He sat down in the chair next to the bed.

"Seriously? Did you even look at it?" Perry asked irritably.

Phineas bit his lip. "Yes. We did." He handed the book to Perry. "I don't understand, Perry. We tried really hard to figure it out."

Perry snatched the book from Phineas's hand and began quickly flipping through it.

"Are… are you angry, Perry?" Phineas asked quietly.

"Chapter Six, Nicky. Chapter Eight, Herman. Chapter Ten, me."

"I'm not sure I understand…"

"Chapter Ten." Perry said loudly. "Joe simply had a glass that DIFFERED from the others, blah blah blah, and so, narrowed down from the FOURTEEN originally there, blah blah blah, and so I added in that which I created myself, UNTRACEABLE and WITHOUT KNOWN PAIR." He slammed the book shut and glared at Phineas. "Do you get it now?"

"Uh…" Phineas looked at Ferb, who shrugged. "No."

Perry huffed. He opened the book up again. "I ordered WATER. No one else, out of the FOURTEEN agents seated at the table the night I was poisoned, besides me ordered water. I was poisoned with something the doctors don't recognize, something that doesn't have an antidote yet."  
"Wait…" Phineas said. "Are you saying… someone's attacking people based on that book?"

"Give the dog a bone." Perry muttered. He tossed the book at Ferb, who caught it to his chest. "Figured you two could stop whoever's next from being next. Stay one step ahead."

"But… but why?" Phineas asked. "Why would someone do that?"  
"Someone doesn't like the agency." Perry said. "The whole book's about this lady who destroys a rival yogurt company by killing off its employees, one by one. Guess whoever's doing this figured it was a good way to destroy an organization. Fortunately, no one's died yet. I really HOPE no one's died yet, at least. You two figuring that book out a day late could have some negative effects."

"We're sorry." Phineas said softly.

"Gosh, you could be a little nicer!" Candace spat. "The boys came here because they wanted to help you. You could at least be grateful they found the stupid book!"

"I'm sorry, Candace." Perry snarled. "I'm sorry if my mood is inconveniencing you. Sure, I'm feeling incredibly sick and dizzy at the moment, not to mention I may end up stuck here for months, but you're right, you'd think I could be a little nicer. I'm terribly, terribly sorry for causing YOU any discomfort."

"Come on." Candace grabbed Phineas's hand. "Let's go."

"Nice you can leave, isn't it? I personally would love to go outside and have a great time. You guys just do whatever you want."

"Perry, if you want us to stay…" Phineas said. "I mean, we just came to see you… if we're bothering you…"

"Do whatever you want." Perry grumbled.

They sat in silence for a while.

"…Okay." Phineas finally said. "Well… um… I think we should probably let you rest. You seem kind of tired. We'll see you tomorrow, okay, Perry?"

Perry didn't answer.

"We love you." Phineas said. He lifted up Perry's arm and put Snugglebear underneath it.

"Other arm." Perry said. "If the IV leaks, I don't want it getting on him."

"Stop being so dramatic. It's not gonna leak-" Candace began.

Phineas moved Snugglebear anyway. "See you, Perry."

They left the room.

"I thought he was impossible before." Candace said. "Can you believe him?"

"He's just not feeling good." Phineas said. "And he's worried about the agency- oh, dang. I forgot to give him his card. Let's go back."

"Let's go BACK?" Candace demanded. "That's what the characters always say in horror movies. Always a stupid decision."

"You can wait here if you want." Phineas said. He and Ferb went back down the hall and entered Room 205.

Perry watched them come in and sit down. He didn't say anything.

"We forgot to give you something." Phineas said.

Perry sighed. "Look. I'm sorry about that whole thing a few minutes ago. I'm not mad at you. I just don't feel good right now."

"We know." Phineas said.

"I feel really bad now." Perry looked down at his lap. "Really… just come by in a couple days. I don't want to say something else I'll regret later. I'm just very easily irritated right now."

"We will." Phineas said. "We just wanna give you your card."

Ferb handed Perry a small paper card. The boys had drawn a picture of a platypus on the front, frolicking in a flower field.

Perry opened it up. They waited while he read it.

Perry smiled a little.

"…Thanks. It's great."

"We hoped you'd like it." Phineas smiled.

"Can you put it on my bedside table?" Perry handed the card back to Ferb. "Where I can see it even if I'm not sitting up?"

Ferb nodded. He placed the card on the table.

"Good." Perry said. He wrapped his arms around Snugglebear and closed his eyes.

"We love you, boy." Phineas said. "Get some rest. Don't worry. We'll figure out who did this."

He patted Perry gently on the head and stood up.

The boys left the room and met Candace at the end of the hall.

"He liked it." Phineas said. "Ferb, check the book. See what attack comes next."

Ferb flipped through the book, quickly scanning the first page of each chapter.

Then he stopped.

"Chapter Thirteen." He said. "The main character sneaks up on this guy while he's loading yogurt boxes into a truck. She hits him over the head with a pot and then runs away before anyone notices."

"Wait." Candace said. "I passed by this building earlier on my way to Jeremy's. It had a sign that said O.W.C.A Secret Headquarters: Pay No Attention To This Sign. Is that Perry's agency?"

"That'd be the agency." Phineas said.

"Well, then, we'd better hurry." Candace said. "I saw a large truck there on my way back from Jeremy's. It looked like it was getting ready to pick up supplies."

"Uh-oh." Phineas said. "Sounds like they're about to strike. We might still have time…"

The three of them ran out of the hospital.


	6. Chapter 6

"Oh no…" Phineas said. "We're too late."

An ambulance was driving away from the O.W.C.A.

Many agents were standing outside, watching sadly as the ambulance left.

A baby narwhal cheerfully waved it goodbye.

"Come on, Ferb." Phineas said, pulling on Ferb's arm. "Let's see what happened."

"What about me?" Candace asked.

"Monogram doesn't know you know about Perry." Phineas explained. "You have to stay here."

Candace sighed. "Fine. I'm going home to call Stacy. You two better not be late for dinner again, or you are SO busted."

The boys entered the O.W.C.A.

Animals were running around in circles. Monogram was standing in the center of the room, shouting.

"Agent E, CALM DOWN! Agent C, HUSH! Agent L, STOP RUNNING! Agent H, DON'T STEP ON AGENT W!"

The animals ignored him.

The boys carefully dodged their way over to the major.

"Please come back later." Monogram said. "There's been another accident."

"Was an agent hit over the head with a pot while he was loading things onto a truck?" Phineas asked.

Monogram frowned. "Yes, Agent Harry the husky."

"Oh no. Is he okay?"

"He will be. We transported him to the hospital. But… how did you know?"

"Sir, whoever this attacker is, he's after all the agents." Phineas nudged Ferb, who handed the Fall of the Fallen to Monogram. "And he's using that book as a plan to eliminate all of them."

Monogram gasped. "The Fall of the Fallen. Of course. Well… it can't be Knap who's doing this. Knap croaked two years ago."

"Was she a frog?" Phineas asked.

"This is perfect." Monogram flipped through the book. "We can figure out what attacks are coming next and counteract them- or at least stop our agents from falling into the trap."

"Great." Phineas said. "Glad we could help."

"Um… actually…" Monogram handed the book back. "Would you two mind keeping on top of that? I'm in the middle of some very important business and I can't take the time to…"

"Well…" Phineas looked at Ferb, who shrugged. "We don't know, sir. I don't know how good we're going to be with stopping the attacks."

"Agent P trusts you and your abilities." Monogram said. "And I have seen from your summer projects that you two are definitely capable of handling anything."

Phineas smiled. Ferb shrugged.

Monogram handed them a piece of paper. "This is a map of the agency. Use it for reference if you need to."

"Yes, sir." Phineas said.

Monogram gave them a stern look. "This will be dangerous, boys. I am putting the agency at serious risk by letting you two do this, but it seems that we have no other choice. So I do warn you… don't get yourselves into any trouble."

"We won't, sir." Phineas said. "Not on purpose, anyway."

"Good. In that case, I'm off to deal with my important business." Monogram put on a pair of flower-shaped sunglasses. "CARL! Where are my disco pants?"

* * *

"So what's the next attack, and for whom?" Phineas asked.

"Hang on. Still looking." Ferb quickly skimmed over the next chapter. "The next victim, in the book, anyway, is named Charles. He's described as very thin and very short for his age."

"Can I see?" Phineas took the book from Ferb and looked at the page.

 _…Charles, indeed, was thinner and shorter than one should be at his age; but by no means did this make him any less attractive than any other; he was well-liked for both his mind and his stamina; he could sit and listen to others for hours; always knew how to reply; how best to help. Calm and mild-mannered Charles would never be suspected were someone to lose something; for why would Charles ever? However, all knew that he had quite an ability for coming and going with barely a whisper; not a trace that he had been there at all._

"I wonder if the attacker is going to go after someone like Charles, or just pick someone random for Charles's fate." Phineas said.

Ferb turned a few of the pages. "Here we are. Charles gets electrocuted when he sticks a key in a lock."

Phineas sighed. "That could be any key and any lock. So… we'll have to figure out what agent fits Charles's description, I guess… but… we don't know any of the agents well enough."

"We'll ask Perry tomorrow." Ferb closed the book.

"I don't want to worry him about whoever's next." Phineas said. "What if it's one of his friends?"

"Well, perhaps we can find a way to ask him without telling him it has to do with the attacks." Ferb said.

* * *

"Hey, boys." Perry said as they walked in. "Either of you want an almond?"

"You seem better today." Phineas said, sitting down next to his bed.

Perry shrugged. He held out a plastic tray that had four little sections for different foods. "Seriously, take some almonds. I can't stand these things. I'm okay with the cheese and crackers, I like the strawberries and blueberries…"

"I'll eat them." Ferb said.

"You'll eat anything." Perry said, putting a slice of cheese on top of a cracker and biting into it. "This isn't gonna fill me up at all. I'll starve come dinnertime. They're gonna start serving me these healthy deli packs for every single meal now that they're not force-feeding me. I've only had one today besides this one and I'm already sick of them. I'm really craving a veggie burger and some nice salty fries… maybe a large chocolate shake…"

"We could smuggle you in something from Mr. Slushie Burger." Phineas offered.

"Would you? That would be amazing. This way, if I end up throwing my lunch up due to the delicate state of my stomach, at least it'll taste good coming back up."

Phineas cringed.

"Large fries, large veggie burger with olives, onions, lettuce, tomatoes, no meat… and a very big chocolate shake with whipped cream and a cherry." Perry said. "You got that?"

"Yes." Ferb said. "We'll bring you some tomorrow."

"Yay. You guys are wonderful. Oh, and can you bring me my blue blanket from home next visit, too? I really miss it. And maybe one of my squeaky toys."

"Sure, Perry." Phineas said.

"Thanks." Perry looked down at his hands. "I'm really homesick. I wish I wasn't stuck here. I want to go play in the yard and run up and down the stairs and curl up in the warm laundry basket and cuddle up in my basket at night and… I just… I miss it."

"You'll be home soon." Phineas patted him. "You'll get better."  
"Not unless they make a scientific breakthrough and discover the antidote." Perry sighed. "All they can do is keep the remaining poison from killing me until then. It's nasty stuff. Whoever created it really didn't want there to be any chance of survival."

"Let's play a game, Perry." Ferb said.

"Is it 'How Long Will This Food Sustain Me'? I played that at breakfast. And just now." Perry tossed the last cracker into his mouth.

"We'll describe someone to you, and you think about who it reminds you of." Ferb said.

"Good game idea, Ferb." Phineas said.

"Okay, I'll go first." Perry said. "Incredibly annoying. Horrible screechy voice. No sense of rhythm."

"Kendrine Adems, international pop sensation?" Ferb asked.

"Correcto. You win. Your turn." Perry handed Ferb his tray, which held the rest of the almonds.

"Good listener. Knows how to reply. How to help." Ferb kept the book low in his lap so Perry couldn't see it. "Calm. Mild-mannered."

"Sounds like Lowe." Perry shrugged.

"Lowe?" Phineas asked. "That agency therapist?"

"Yeah. Mild-mannered is pretty much what you'd use to describe him. Rarely shows emotion."

"Um… does Lowe ever unlock stuff?" Phineas asked.

Perry raised an eyebrow. "What kind of a question is that?"

"I… I meant… where is he usually?"

Perry shrugged. "I don't know. His office? Why do you wanna know?"

"We were gonna find some people you liked and ask them to come visit you." Phineas said. "You seem so lonely. We were thinking of asking Lowe and Sven… people like that."

"Oh." Perry smiled. "Thanks for the thought. That would be nice. Only if they want to, though. I can give you Sven's number if you want. I don't think he knows what happened."

"Okay." Phineas said. He handed Perry a piece of paper. Perry scribbled the number down and handed it back.

"Thanks, guys." Perry closed his eyes. "If it's okay, I think I need to sleep a little bit."

"That's fine." Phineas said. "We'll see you tomorrow. Feel better."

"Like I have any control over that." Perry snickered.

* * *

A wolf growled at the boys as they ran down the hall.

"Sorry!" Phineas called back. "Didn't mean to step on your paw!"

Ferb looked at the agency map. "Lowe's office should be right around here… that door! That door there!"

They screeched to a stop. Phineas opened the door, and they went inside.

"Lowe?" Phineas asked. "It's Phineas and Ferb. We're Perry's owners."

A small squeak came from a corner of the room. The boys turned.

A fennec fox was curled up in a hole in the carpet. He was looking at them curiously through a pair of huge glasses.

"Aww." Phineas said. "You're adorable."

The fennec fox winced at the comment.

"Here." Ferb reached into his pocket and pulled out a small electronic collar. "We need to talk to you. We originally made this translator for Perry when our first one didn't work out years ago, but it didn't work on him."

"He just wasn't talking." Phineas said. "That was the problem."

"Anyhow, we need to speak to you." Ferb held out the collar. "This will help."

Lowe climbed out of the hole and stood up. He took the collar from Ferb and fastened it around his neck.

"We think you might be in danger." Phineas said. "See, all the attacks that have happened to agents so far are based on this book." He held up the Fall of the Fallen. "The next victim gets killed when the killer attaches a wire to a keyhole and the victim tries to unlock the door. Perry said the description of the victim in the book sounds like you."

Lowe frowned. "I can't think of anything I'd unlock besides the door of my house. And no one has asked me to open anything so far."

"Just don't unlock any doors." Phineas said.

"Are you certain I'm the next victim?" Lowe asked. "The other attacks had some kind of manipulation involved. Herman received a note asking him to meet someone near the lamp that exploded. The communication wires in the O.W.C.A net were sabotaged so that only thirteen agents received Terry's call for backup. And Harry was told over the phone to load the truck parked outside of the agency. It makes sense that the attacks are based on a storyline now… but I haven't been asked to do anything. I'm not saying that I'm not next- thank you for warning me, I will sleep here tonight- but I feel as though there is also a possibility that someone else could be in trouble. Someone who is likely to put a key in a lock of great importance, rather than just someone entering their house."

"It does say at the end of the description that the victim is very sneaky." Phineas said. "Do you think that could mean something?"

Lowe closed his eyes for a moment. "Judging by that… and the nature of the attack… I'd say you're looking for an agent that specializes in breaking and entering."

"That makes sense." Phineas said. "If they were told to break in somewhere…"

Lowe thought for a moment. "Peter. Peter came by earlier asking me to tell Monogram he was flying to Seattle for a few hours. When I went to inform the Major, he was frazzled because the wrong house coordinates had been sent to Peter for his breaking-and-entering mission tonight and he was unable to contact him."

"Oh no…" Phineas said. "So Peter's the next victim. What house was it?"

"I believe you can get the coordinates from the Major." Lowe said. "You have an hour before Peter returns to Danville. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help."

"Actually…" Phineas looked down at the book in his hands. "We don't really know the agents or the agency that well. It would be nice to have someone who could help us figure these attacks out… like you just did."

"I'd be glad to help." Lowe gave a nod. "Come in anytime."

"Great." Phineas dragged Ferb out of the room. "But right now, we need to hurry."


	7. Chapter 7

"This door." Ferb said.

They sat down in front of the back door of the large white house. Phineas could barely see the small black cord that ran out of the bottom of the door, snaking towards the front of the house, where it had undoubtedly found an outdoor plug somewhere.

Phineas dug around in his pocket and pulled out a wire cutter.

"Let me do it." Ferb said.

"Be careful."

Ferb took the wire cutter and carefully began to cut the cord. "Keep watch."

Phineas looked toward the street. Nothing much was happening.

"Ow." Ferb drew back suddenly.

"What?" Phineas asked.

Ferb stood up and fanned off his hand. "Rubber glove and a key."

Phineas reached in his other pocket and gave the two items to Ferb. Ferb slipped the glove over his hand and stuck the key in the lock.

"Good." Ferb said. "No current. We did it."

Phineas breathed a sigh of relief.

A branch snapped. They froze.

"Someone's coming." Phineas said.

They jumped up and hid behind the nearest tree.

A padding noise sounded in the grass. It got closer and closer…

And a panda emerged from the bushes. It was looking at a phone in its paws.

After a moment, it turned around and walked away from the house.

Phineas breathed a sigh of relief. "Peter. Looks like he got the message that the coordinates were wrong."

"I'm glad we disabled it, anyway." Ferb said.

* * *

When Phineas and Ferb came to visit Perry the next day, he was sitting up a little more than he had been able to before. He was focused on the television.

There were three men on the television.

"I can't believe you kissed my fiancé!" One man said.

"Oh, yeah? Well, I can't believe you cheated on her with my girlfriend!" The second man said.

"Well, I'M DATING YOUR MOM." The third guy said.

Perry muted the television and turned to the boys. "You can't make fun of soap operas. There's nothing to exaggerate."

"We brought you food." Phineas held up a Mr. Slushie Burger bag.

"Yessss. Bring that delicious goodness over here."

Phineas set the bag down in Perry's lap. "Good to see you're sitting up."

"The pillows are doing most of the work." Perry took a bite of his veggie burger. "Mm. This is like… amazing. I can't describe it. Actual food."

"That's a good way to put it." Ferb said.

"And we brought your blanket…" Phineas spread the blanket out on the bed. "And your squeaky cupcake toy. Aww, have people been getting you teddy bears?"

Perry smiled at the bears sitting in the large armchair next to the television. "Yeah. Doofenshmirtz and Monogram each brought one. Some of the agents gave me the littler ones. Doofenshmirtz also brought me some chips or something… I didn't eat them."

"Those were cookies." Ferb said.  
"Now I'm super glad I didn't eat them." Perry said, grabbing a handful of fries from the bag. "Pinky got me a bunch of chocolates, which I ate already to help counteract the hospital's excuse for breakfast, Prince sent an empty spray-paint can, which I'm assuming is supposed to be a nice gesture, and Peter sent me a 'Save The Pandas' t-shirt."

"That's so nice." Phineas said.

"Yeah." Perry licked the salt from his fingers. "Almost makes this place a little less lonely. …So… how are things at the agency? Have there been any more attacks?"

"Only Harry the husky." Ferb said.

Perry nodded. "Heard about him, poor guy. Messed with his head a bit. They say he'll be okay, though."

"We stopped Peter from getting electrocuted." Phineas said. "And Lowe's gonna help us make sure no one else gets attacked."

"Be careful." Perry said sternly.

"We will." Phineas said.

Perry took another handful of fries. "These are so perfect. It's like the grease fairy and the salt fairy fell in love and had little potato fairy children."

"Is the potato fairy the one that comes into your room at night and takes your potato and leaves a coin under your pillow?" Ferb asked.

"Yes. The salt fairy, however, sprinkles salt on your head while you sleep and makes you sneeze." Perry said.

"That would be the pepper fairy." Ferb said.

"Dang. My painkillers are making me mix up my condiments."

"You seem much better than the first time we saw you, though." Phineas said.  
Perry laughed. "I'm less crabby, that's for sure."

"You're definitely getting better, though." Phineas smiled. "I bet you'll be home soon. And once this is all over, Ferb and I will get right on inventing an antidote."

"It will most likely take a great bit of the afternoon." Ferb said. "But great discoveries cannot be rushed."

"Aww, it has whipped cream and a cherry and everything!" Perry exclaimed, pulling his shake out of the bag. "You guys are the best."

"We love you, boy." Phineas said. "Is there anything else you want us to bring you next time?"

"Socks. My feet are freezing. The doctors like to keep the air conditioning Pluto temperature. Do you know anyone who can knit soft little platypus socks?"

"Aw, that sounds so cute." Phineas said.

"I know. I specifically cutified the sentence to make you take pity on me."

"We'll make you socks." Phineas said.

"Yay. Master is going to give Perry a sock."

"We're not your masters. Just your owners." Ferb said.

"Perry is a free platypus."

"Exactly."

"What are we even talking about?" Phineas asked.

* * *

"What kind of agent would go into an abandoned factory?" Phineas asked, watching the floors pass by through the glass doors on the elevator.

"Scavenging agents." Lowe replied. "Agents that look through the trash and old files for information."

"I had no idea there were so many different kinds of agents." Phineas said.

Lowe nodded. "They each use their different talents for different things."

"What kind of agent is Perry?" Ferb asked.

"I believe he specializes in hand-to-hand combat." Lowe said.

"That sounds about right." Phineas said.

The elevator stopped on the very top floor of the factory. Phineas glanced at the book passage again.

 _…I sabotaged the box so that, if walked underneath, it would fall; the motion sensors I equipped the box with would surely do their job._

"I hope this is the right factory." Phineas said.

"This is really the only abandoned factory in Danville." Ferb said. "They re-opened the vacuum place."

"There's the box." Phineas pointed.

A large wooden box was dangling from the ceiling, held up by a humongous carabiner.

"I bet that thing releases it." Ferb said.

"All we have to do is disconnect the motion sensors from the bottom… and the carabiner." Phineas said. "But how are we gonna get up there?"

Lowe peered over the edge of the railing. "Not safe to jump. Is there any way you can neutralize the sensors from afar?"

"I did happen to bring something." Ferb reached into his pocket and pulled out a long stick with two plastic hands on the end.

"Oh, one of those grabby-things we used to use to get stuff out from behind the couch." Phineas said. "Wait… how'd you get that from your pocket?"

"Science." Ferb said. He leaned over and began to disengage the motion sensors. Phineas held onto his belt.

"Use caution." Lowe advised.

"Think I got them all." Ferb said. He waved the stick underneath the box. "Yep. This box isn't going anywhere."

Phineas pulled Ferb back onto the balcony. "Good job, bro."

A clanking noise sounded down below. The boys looked over the edge again.

Way down below, a raccoon was sorting through a recycling bin.

"Yay. We saved the raccoon." Phineas said happily.

* * *

"Carriebear and I brought you some flowers." Devon said happily, bursting through the door. He set a vase of flowers down on Perry's bedside table.

Perry was sound asleep and did not respond.

"And I brought an assortment of Swiss chocolates." Peter said. "But seeing as you are asleep and won't be needing them, I shall eat them in your honor."

"He looks so tired." Carrie the cat said quietly.

"Well, obviouthly." Peter said, his mouth full of chocolates. "He'th thleeping."

"Should I turn the television off?" Carrie asked.

"Nah." Devon said. "Sometimes the sounds of voices are soothing to sick people."

"Dad…" Perry whimpered in his sleep. He rolled onto his side. "Mom... maybe Carl... I don't know..."

"You think he wants his parents?" Peter asked.

"Maybe." Devon said. "Ernest said he'd try to call Perry's mom, but he never did."

"Poor Perry." Peter said, patting Perry on the arm. "I still remember the day you and I first met. I was stuck in a closet, and you opened the door… and then you hated me for pretty much forever. Until we became friends."

"I'll find his parents for him." Carrie said. She went over to the phone. "…Why is there a button to call 911? This is already a hospital."

"What if the hospital catches on fire?" Peter said.

"That is a good point." Carrie said. "All right, what random number should I try first?"

"Maybe we should wait until Perry wakes up, and then ask him what his dad's number is." Peter said.

"Aagh." Perry rolled onto his back. "You guys are so loud. Go away. Be quiet. One of those things."  
"We were going to call your parents." Devon said.

"Don't worry about it. They're already coming." Perry yawned. "They called them this morning."

"Oh, that's good." Devon said. "Is there anything else we can do for you, then?"

"Quiet."

"I can read to you." Carrie picked up a large book that was on the bedside table next to the flowers and opened it up. "I'll start at the bookmarked page, okay?"

"What bookmarked page?" Perry mumbled. "I wasn't reading anything."

"Hm. This page looks glued in. No matter." Carrie cleared her throat. "Seeing as I failed with Jerome… and all the others, I decided it was time for a different plan. It was a shame to drop the plan of my beloved idol, but it just wasn't working, and revenge is not properly executed with a plan that doesn't work out. But it wasn't her fault it didn't work. It was Cecil's. I knew it was. I would come to his door at night, and when he answered, I would smother him and leave him to be found. Afterwards, I could continue on." Carrie frowned. "Gosh, that's depressing."

Perry sat up suddenly, his eyes wild. "Who. Brought. That. Book."

Peter shrugged. "It was here when we got here."

Perry grabbed for the phone.

"Careful, Perry." Devon said. "Don't move so quickly. You'll hurt yourself."

"CAN IT, Devon!" Perry snapped. He began to dial a number.

"Moving around so fast will really hurt later." Carrie said quietly.

"It hurts now." Perry waited. "Come on. Pick up. Pick up."


	8. Chapter 8

Phineas answered his cell phone after the third ring.

"Hello?"

"Gnakakakakaka!"

Phineas switched the phone to his other ear. "Sorry, say that again? I wasn't holding it against the ear with the translator."

"Where are you?"

"I'm in the bathroom at city hall." Phineas said. "We just protected Agent W from getting stepped on. Someone taped him to the floor. He's safe now."

"Phin… listen… do not…"

A knock sounded on the door.

"Hold on. Someone needs to use the bathroom-"

"DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR."

"What?" Phineas stopped. "Why not?"

"The killer's there."

"He is? How do you know?"

"He left me a threat in a copy of the Fall of the Fallen that was delivered to my room. He's onto you."

"What?! He was in your room?"

"Of course not. He wouldn't be able to get past the security. Only agents and their family members are allowed inside the hospital. Friends need special permission. The book was most likely left outside addressed to me."

The knock sounded again.

"Don't open the door, Phin. Is there another way out?"

"Yeah…" Phineas said nervously. "There's a back window…"

"Good. Climb out. Keep me on the phone."

"Perry, I'm scared…"

"It's okay, Phin. Just keep me on the phone. Get home. I'll send someone out to watch for you. Isabella's dog, Pinky, okay? He'll take you inside. You'll be safe. I'm texting him now from my cell. Where's Ferb?"

"He… he… I don't know. I think he's still in City Hall. The main part."

"Okay. I'll text him and tell him to go home as well."

"Perry…"

"It's okay. Get out. Keep me on the phone."

Phineas wrenched open the window and climbed through, landing on the street. He started to run.

"You out?"

"Yeah. I'm gonna be there in about three minutes."

"Okay. Pinky says he's waiting outside your house. He'll make sure you get in safely. He won't leave until both of you are home with your parents."

"What if it was really a person who needed to use the bathroom?"

"There are a million bathrooms in the world, Phineas. But there's only one you."

"That's very deep."

"Yes, yes it is. Maybe you can make it your senior quote when you graduate high school."

Phineas laughed a little.

"Gosh… you'll be in high school one day. And graduate from it. And go to college… aww, I don't want you to grow up."

"I won't, Perry. Remember? We made a pact to never grow up. I'm here…"

Pinky the Chihuahua was standing outside the screen door. He stood on two legs and waved Phineas over.

"Ferb just texted me back." Perry said. "He'll be there soon. Get inside. And once you two are home and safe, I want both of you out of this, do you understand? It's too dangerous. The agency will send someone else after the killer."

Pinky sat and watched as Phineas knocked on the screen door. After a moment, Linda appeared and unlocked the door.

"Okay. I'm home." Phineas said. "Thanks."

"I'm gonna station someone outside. You two. Out of this. Understand?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Tell Pinky to text me when Ferb gets home. And you text me, too, for clarification. That was too close for comfort. Stay safe."

"Bye." Phineas hung up and closed the screen door.

"Where's your brother?" Linda asked.

"He'll be here in a sec." Phineas said.

* * *

Perry hung up the hospital phone and breathed a sigh of relief.

"We'll come back tomorrow." Carrie said. She and Devon headed for the door. "With more flowers."

"And more chocolates." Said Peter, following them.

"…What chocolates?" Perry asked. "Peter, did you eat…"

The door closed. Perry collapsed against the pillows, exhausted from his panic.

His phone buzzed. It took all of his strength to lift it up enough to see the notification.

 _TEXT FROM: PINKY GARCIA-SHAPIRO: frb is ok. home. agent b kpn wtch outsd._

 _TEXT FROM: PHINEAS FLYNN: ferb got home_

Perry put his arm back down and closed his eyes.

That had been too close.

* * *

Phineas was having a hard time sleeping.

Not just because someone had wanted to kill him. That was creepy enough to keep him up in the first place. But he also felt too alone to sleep.

Ferb was there, and Lowe was there, but Perry wasn't.

Perry wasn't snoring down in his pet bed, or purring next to Phineas, or kicking Ferb in his sleep.

Somehow Lowe had sensed Phineas's loneliness and curled up at the foot of his bed. Phineas appreciated the gesture, but it wasn't the same. Lowe was much lighter and bonier than Perry, so it felt more like having a wheezing skeleton for company instead of a fuzzy warm pet.

"Perry, why'd you have to go and get yourself poisoned?" Phineas whispered to himself.

"I'm sorry?" Lowe opened his eyes. "Did you say something?"

"Nothing." Phineas said.

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah. I guess. Sorry I woke you up."

"It's fine." Lowe yawned. "I know it feels scary. But right now, Perry is in the safest place he can be. He has doctors looking after him. You can rest easy tonight. He'll be fine."

"No, he won't." Phineas pulled his pillow closer to his face. "Not until they cure him. He's so sick. All because some stupid guy hates the agency. And even if he does get better… something might happen again. He's always in danger. Just like I was today. He's always got someone after him. And it's not fair. I hate it when he goes to work. I'm always scared he's gonna get hurt or something. And sometimes he does. Things keep happening. I'm so… so scared for him…"

"Have you told him how you feel?" Lowe asked.

"I can't. He'd get mad. He doesn't want me to worry about him."

"I expect he wouldn't. He knows what it's like to worry about someone. But all the same, you'd probably feel better if you talked about it with him."

"He'll get mad…"

"He loves you. And he cares deeply about you. If you talk to him, not in an accusatory way, just in a way that lets him know how you feel… he will listen to you. He'll do what he can to help."

"I… I guess I could try." Phineas squeezed his pillow. "Thanks."

Lowe nodded and settled back down.

It took a little while, but Phineas finally managed to fall asleep.

* * *

"Pansy, get off the bed."

"But I want to make a pawprintie so he knows I am here."

"No, Pansy."

Perry opened his eyes. Two platypuses were standing by his bed, one with green eyes and a faint scar, one with hazel eyes.

"Mom? Dad?"

"Hello, magical egg platypus." Pansy said happily. "How are you doing? Did you throw up the bad mushroom?"

"W…what mushroom?" Perry asked, rubbing his eyes.

"She thinks you were poisoned by a mushroom." Percy said. "The real situation was too much for her to understand."

"Oh. I'm glad you guys are here…"

Percy put a hand on Perry's arm. "I'm glad you're all right. Have they figured out who did this?"

Perry shook his head.

"I can make you lavender leaf soup." Pansy said.

"That's her new thing." Percy said. "She takes a leaf from a flower and puts it in water."

Perry smiled. "Thanks, mom. I'm okay. How have you two been?"

"Been what?" Pansy asked.

"Been doing." Perry said.

"Been doing what? Eating marshmallows? Eating grass? Stepping on dirt?"

"We're fine." Percy said. "And your siblings are doing fine."

"Seriously? Better than me?" Perry laughed.

"Look, Percy." Pansy said, beginning to dig the carpet. "There is a lot of fuzzy to make a nest out of."

"I'd better take your mother home before she digs a hole in the carpet." Percy said. "It was nice seeing you again. I hope to see you when you're feeling better. Sorry it was such a short visit."

"That's all right." Perry smiled. "Thanks for coming."

After his parents left, the room felt strangely empty and lonely. Perry debated whether or not to fall asleep again.

Finally, he picked up the remote and switched on the television. At least the sound would give him some company.

A little ragdoll was on TV, holding a flower.

"Gee. What should I do with this flower?"

A clown walked over to her. "You could give it to a friend and show them you care! After all, sharing is caring!"

The ragdoll giggled. "You're right, Carlos the Caring Clown!"

Perry quickly changed the channel and tried to keep himself from throwing up.

"It's time for the EVIL VILLAIN SHOW! Today, we take you through some of the most dastardly villainous plots in evil history… and interview the villains you all despise and don't admire!"

Perry snickered. He wondered if Doofenshmirtz watched the show.

"Today, we will interview Dastardly Drago, the man who plotted some of the biggest heists in history. Born Drago Victor Zegmo to a family of four, Drago lived in a small townhouse on the outskirts of Danville with his parents, sister Zappy and brother Zippy."

"I do believe I was the favorite of the family." Drago said. Perry could tell he was inside the agency prison. He must have been interviewed recently. "See, mother gave me a dastardly name that didn't start with Z. So I'd be unique. Pretty dastardly of her. Oh, do you like my new catchphrase? I figure that since my name is Dastardly Drago, I'd need a dastardly catchphrase to capture my dastardly essence."

The scene changed to a bedroom. A short, average-looking man with brown hair and glasses was scowling at the camera.

"I don't get what mother liked about him… or why she didn't like me." Zippy said. "I could have had a name for myself. But no. She calls me Zippy. As soon as I get the paperwork through, I'm changing my name to something that's a play on words. That's ten times better than just sticking 'Dastardly' at the front."

Perry frowned. Zippy had a poster on his wall depicting a woman that looked very familiar.

Where had Perry seen her before?

Zippy was standing up on his bed. "Mother never liked me. She only liked Drago. The only times she liked me were the times I baked her rice puddings. YOU ONLY LIKED MY RICE PUDDINGS, MOTHER!"

"I think you're swell." Said a small girl with pigtails. "Even when you don't make rice puddings."

"Oh, shut up, Zappy!" Zippy snapped.

"There's a dysfunctional family if I ever saw one." Perry changed the channel again.


	9. Chapter 9

Phineas woke up before the alarm.

Lowe was already awake. He was sitting on the windowsill, staring out the window. He seemed lost in thought.

Phineas looked towards Ferb's bed. "Where's Ferb?"

Lowe jumped and fell onto the bedside table, scrambling to catch the lamp before it fell.

"Sorry." Phineas said quietly.

"It's all right." Lowe laughed a little. "I should have been more aware of my surroundings. Ferb left a note."

Phineas got up and went over to Ferb's bed. A small sticky note was on the pillow.

 _Went out_

 _-Ferb_

Phineas narrowed his eyes. "Ferb didn't leave a note."

"I think it was on the pillow-"

"I know. Ferb didn't leave it." Phineas picked the note up. "Ferb never writes his O's like that. And he doesn't sign his name at the end of notes. Something's wrong."

Lowe got down from the windowsill. "You're certain?"

Phineas nodded. "We have to figure out where he is. The killer… he must have been here… I hope Ferb's…"

"Ferb most likely left you something to lead you, if he really was taken away by force." Lowe said.

"You're right." Phineas said. "How do you know people so well?"

They began to look around.

"Let me know if you find something." Phineas said.

"I feel that the hint would mean something to you." Lowe said. "I'm not sure I would recognize it if I saw it. I'm looking for signs of a struggle… clues as to which way he left from."

"There." Phineas pointed at the ground.

"Skidmarks." Lowe said. "Good eye. They left through the window."

"Okay… the skidmarks are facing to the left twice… which means his attacker is two feet taller than Ferb is. Two skidmarks facing to the right would have meant two feet shorter. I don't see any other ones next to it… so he must have only put one shoe on. That means there was only one kidnapper."

"This is impressive." Lowe commented. "Did you two work this out beforehand in case this happened?"

Phineas shook his head. "I just know Ferb. I know how he thinks."

"You two are very close. It's rare to find a relationship as strong as that."

Phineas nodded. "Yeah. …We have to find him. I hope he's okay. I wonder where he's gone…"

Lowe opened up the window and looked out. "My sense of smell isn't as keen as my hearing, but I can try to figure out which direction they might have taken."

"Good." Phineas grabbed a pair of socks from underneath his bed. "Can you do that while I go see Perry? I think… I think if I tell him about the clues Ferb left me, maybe… maybe he'll know how to start looking."

* * *

The two guards stationed outside the agency hospital glanced at Phineas briefly as he walked inside.

Phineas walked up to the front desk. "Excuse me. I'm here to see Perry again. Room 205?"

The receptionist checked her computer and frowned. "I'm sorry. He requested that no visitors be allowed to see him today."

"He probably didn't mean me. Can you tell him it's me?"

"He was in a lot of pain this morning and required extra pain medication. He has requested that no one visit him today while he is in this condition. Try coming back tomorrow."

"I really need to see him today. Can you just ask…"

"I'm sorry. Be sure to stop by the gift shop on your way out."

"Why is there a gift shop in the hospital?" Phineas demanded. "Do you sell plush hypodermic needles with happy faces?"

He had finally had enough. The knowledge that Ferb was gone was starting to hit him full force. He couldn't just sit around.

"Uh…" The woman said.

"IV-shaped magnets? Cough syrup flavored hot chocolate?"

"Please come back tomorrow." The woman repeated, more forcefully this time.

Phineas sighed and pretended to turn around.

The woman turned her attention back to her computer.

And Phineas snuck down the hall.

* * *

"Perry?" Phineas whispered, gently closing the door. "Perry, I need your help…"

"Carl?"

Phineas turned the bedside light on.

Perry looked exhausted and weak. It didn't help Phineas's mood any.

"You didn't make it easy for me to get in." Phineas said.

"I said… no visitors." Perry mumbled. "I didn't… I didn't want you to see me… like this."

"Are you hurting?" Phineas asked.

"No…" Perry laughed softly. "No… not hurting, Carl."

"Perry, I really need you to try and make your brain work. I know it's a little crazy from the painkillers, but you need to concentrate. Ferb needs you." Phineas felt a lump form in his throat. "We both need you."

"Ferb…" Perry said softly.

"Yeah… he was kidnapped, Perry. He needs help. You have to help him."

"Ferb… is in the future."

"Perry, please try to…"

"In the future… there is a boat." Perry said. "A big cherry boat that floats to the land of Nevermore."

"Perry. Listen to me. Ferb's been kidnapped."

"Ferb lives in eagles and maples." Perry furrowed his brow. "No… you were born in eagles and live in maples. Ferb was born in… in…"

"England."

"Yes. Breakfast tea." Perry yawned. "And we took the maple train. It's a two-story train. It's yellow. Do you understand?"

"You seem tired." Phineas said. "Sorry I disturbed you."

"Yellow maple train." Perry said. "The big cherry boat… cherry… cherry…"

"Do you want cherries?"

"No. You have to understand, Carl." Perry slowly rolled onto his side.

"Not cherries." Phineas decided he might as well play along. Perry obviously wasn't going to start making sense. "The cherry boat. I understand. Are you going to ride on the cherry boat?"

Perry drew his eyebrows closer together. "No… no… no riding... you don't understand… you have to understand… the cherry boat… with lucky numbers… and a big red hat… there is a big hole in the place where the flowers live."

"Yes, yes there is." Phineas patted him. "It's okay, Perry. Get some rest. I'll… I'll see you after… I find Ferb… if I can." He felt the tears starting to leak into his eyes.

"No… you don't understand…" Perry wrapped his fingers around Phineas's arm. His grip wasn't very tight at all. "I can't… the words..."

"Okay." Phineas said. "I love you, boy. I'm sorry I bothered you. I'll see you later."

* * *

"I found some tracks in the snow." Lowe said as Phineas entered the bedroom. "But they broke off at the end of your driveway. I'm so sorry. Were you able to talk with Perry? Did he have any ideas?"

Phineas shook his head. He knew he wasn't going to be able to hold his tears back for much longer. "He… he was too confused from the painkillers and kept talking in gibberish. I couldn't get through to him. I'm so sick of this. I'm so sick of whoever's doing this. I want my brother to be safe… I want him…"  
Phineas started to cry. He flopped down on Ferb's bed.

He felt Lowe get up on the bed and sit down next to him.

"I just… I can't… I can't fail him… I don't know where to start… I don't… I don't know what to do!"

Lowe put a paw on his shoulder and said nothing. Somehow, it made Phineas feel more secure not being verbally comforted. His sobs slowly changed to soft whimpers.

"And… and I kind of feel bad." Phineas sat up and wiped his eyes. "I was too worried about Ferb to stay with Perry… I should have been more patient with him. He was really frustrated… he really wanted me to understand what he was saying. I should have at least tried to figure out his little story about the boat…"

Lowe frowned. "Perry's got a great mind. I doubt he would ever be completely unaware of what he says. Perhaps he was frustrated because he was trying to tell you something, but the medication was making it very hard for him to remember how to communicate his thoughts in a way that you would understand."

Phineas sniffled. "You really think so? …You… you know him well, right? If I told you what he said, maybe you could figure out what he meant to say?"

Lowe nodded. "I suppose I can try."

"Well… first thing that was weird was he kept calling me Carl."

Lowe laughed. "Yes. Have you ever had a dream about someone you knew, and yet in the dream you call them by a completely different name, and it seems very normal at the time until you wake up?"  
"Yeah. Is that the same thing? So he knew it was me?"

Lowe smiled and nodded.

"That's kinda cool. Okay… then after I told him… that… Ferb was kidnapped… he said Ferb was in the future… and he started talking about… about the cherry boat. That was the thing he mentioned the most. He also was talking about a maple train that is yellow and has two stories… he said the cherry boat had lucky numbers and a big red hat and… a giant hole in some place where some flowers lived… and then he kept getting upset when I didn't understand, which is what you were saying… that he knew what he was saying but couldn't figure out how to get his words out. So… what do you think it means?"

Lowe closed his eyes for a long moment.

"I may be wrong, but... Perry knows where Ferb might be."

"He does?" Phineas asked.

"I think he gave you an address." Lowe opened his eyes. "He acknowledged your statement that Ferb had been kidnapped by repeating the sentence in a way he could understand it while on the medication. You live on Maple Drive, correct? Your house is yellow and has two stories. He was referring to your home when he spoke of the yellow maple train. I am assuming that maple train means Maple Drive. Cherry Boat most likely is a street address that isn't a drive address… the 'lucky numbers' are probably the house number… the 'big red hat' was his way of telling you that the house had a red roof… and I believe there may be a basement near the garden area of the house."

"Cherry Lane!" Phineas jumped up. "And Perry always talks about how his lucky number in his fortune cookie was the number thirteen! So he must mean 13 Cherry Lane… in some kind of basement!"

He grabbed Lowe's paw and dragged him down the stairs.

* * *

"It may be best to call for assistance." Lowe said.

"Yeah." Phineas looked up at the large, cheery-looking house with the red roof. "But what if they don't get here in time? Ferb needs help… I'm not gonna come this far just to run out of time…"

"We won't be able to help him as is." Lowe said. "I can't engage in any physical activity because of my lungs. And as for you… we're dealing with a murderer. Our only option is to call in the address to the agents and let them handle it."

Phineas nodded. "Okay… I just hope they…"

"Get here in time?"

Phineas and Lowe jumped. They slowly turned around to face the speaker.

"Nice to finally meet you in person, Cecil. Come. We have a story to tell."


	10. Chapter 10

"Well, you found the killer first, Ferb." Phineas said.

"Yes. And he is crazy as a buh-lowfish." Ferb said.

"Now is NOT the time to talk about blowfish, Ferb." Phineas said.

"There's always time to talk about blowfish." Ferb said.

"BE QUIET, BOTH OF YOU!" Shouted the dark figure standing in front of them.

"All right. But can we at least not be tied to chairs?" Phineas asked. "I prefer non-forced seating."

"No. You three are my captive audience for today." The figure said, moving into the light. "It's storytime, Cecil and Lester. I'm so sorry to the little character sitting to your left. I haven't thought of a name for him yet…"

"His name is Lowe." Phineas spat. "He's not for you to name. You don't control us."

"But I already have." The figure began to pace back and forth. The light from the single bulb in the ceiling lit up his brown hair and a few of his features as he walked past the first time.

He didn't look scary, like Phineas had expected. He was actually kind of… ordinary in his appearance. Like a stranger passing by in the grocery store. He didn't look like a killer.

Phineas narrowed his eyes. He had probably seen this guy at some point. He may have even walked by him the day Perry was poisoned. Not even a second glance.

Evil lurked everywhere.

"Our story begins in the very house this basement belongs to." The man said. "Three children were born here. The… average Zappy Zegmo, the idiot Drago Zegmo, and the misunderstood genius, Zippy Zegmo."

"Wonder which one he is." Ferb whispered to Phineas.

Zippy glared at him. "Please, do not talk during storytime. Gosh, children can be so rude. As I was saying, poor, misunderstood Zippy was… unappreciated for his talents. He was a fabulous baker. He created lovely cakes and pies and cookies and puddings…"

"Is this going to end like Sweeney Todd?" Ferb asked.

"…especially puddings. His mother, who normally doted on Drago, was incredibly in love with Zippy Zegmo's puddings. Rice puddings. Not chocolate puddings, not peach puddings, rice puddings. Oh no, no one wants anything but rice puddings." Zippy folded his arms. "Rice, rice, rice, all day long. That's all anyone ever wants."

"Rice pudding does sound quite good, actually." Ferb said. "I missed breakfast when I was kidnapped."

"Shut UP. The chocolate ones are just as good."

"Yes, but if we're in the mood for a rice pudding, we won't want the chocolate one, even if it's great." Phineas said.

"WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON, ANYWAY?" Zippy shouted.

"Not yours." Phineas said angrily. "You poisoned Perry!"

"I'm getting there. Anyway, one day, Zippy went to the bookstore and bought a lovely tale entitled The Fall of The Fallen, and his journey into evil began. He dreamed to one day meet Kneada Knap, the amazing, wonderful author… who was so very good at evil… but then… Knap was arrested. The stupid O.W.C.A locked her away. They locked away a veritable genius. They couldn't get away with that. So I formed a plan for revenge… but it wasn't until recently that I came up with the perfect plot. What better way to avenge Knap… I would use her very words, her very story, to destroy the agency! I sabotaged the General's son's car, like the warning at the beginning of the book. I gave one of the agents a fake note to fix lighting near the square lamp… but he didn't die from the explosion. I sent my idiot brother to break into the agency- two birds with one stone- and manipulated the call system so that only thirteen agents could be contacted. Fourteen agents celebrated their catch of my brother, I poisoned the one with the different drink with a poison of my own creation…"

Phineas clenched his fists.

"…But still, he did not die. I sent a message to an agent to stock a truck with boxes and came up behind him… slammed him over the head… again, no death. The electricity and key plan did not work at all. Neither did any other plan… and so I realized… I needed to change the game. That is where you and Lester come in, Cecil. You two were the antagonists of my story. You two were the loners, the sad, bored children who had nothing better to do than ruin my plan."

"That's not true." Phineas snapped. "You can't just make up a life for us. We're not your puppets. You can't just write the entire world into one big messed-up story. All we wanted was to stop animals from being killed and hurt! Especially Perry…"

"I decide now." Zippy said, his eyes wild. "Cecil and Lester meet a rather interesting end. A tragic accident. They simply could not be saved. Their death was inevitable."

"Well, obviously." Ferb said.

Zippy grinned. "Ah, you misunderstand. I will provide that ending."

"You're crazy!" Phineas said.

"It's a rather interesting story though, don't you think?" Zippy looked excited. "Dramatic, tragic…"

"How about a different ending?" Ferb said.

Phineas nudged him. "What are you doing?" He hissed.

"Stalling." Ferb whispered. "Go on, brother. Think. Get one of your ideas."

"I don't think there can be a different ending." Zippy said with a shrug.

"May I at least ask you a question?" Ferb asked.

"Stop talking!" Zippy snapped.

"Enjoy it while you can." Phineas said. "Ferb rarely ever talks this much."

"It's a very important question." Ferb said.

"Fine." Zippy huffed. "Quickly."  
"What exactly IS the core meaning of Fall of the Fallen?" Ferb asked.

Zippy took the bait. He began to tell the story in incredible detail, complete with high levels of analysis. Ferb nodded occasionally as he talked.

Phineas frantically looked around the room. There had to be some way to get out of this. There just had to.

* * *

"I brought you lavender leaf soup." Pansy said, placing a food dish next to Perry's bed. "The evil human person named Resep-shonist tried to stop me from delivering you lavender leaf soup. So I fought her. And now I am here, my magical egg platypus."

"Mom…" Perry yawned and rolled onto his side. He didn't open his eyes. "Mom, you have to help them… I can't reach the box to tell the people… I can't tell the people that they need people… what if all of them are there?"

"Drink the lavender leaf soup." Pansy advised.

"Mom… mom…"

"My name is Pansy."

"Carl is in the big white place with the big red hat… he needs me… the hole… the big hole…"  
"The big pizza box hole?"

"Yes… yes…"

"Where the flowers live?"

"Yes…"  
"In the Land of the Cherries?"

"Yes… yes… tell the people… tell the people to go and get them… and get Drippity Drop…"  
"Okay." Pansy said. "And then I will bring you more soup. And I will make you a nice nest from the fluffy on the ground."

* * *

"…but I think that the narrator was more than just the anti-hero." Zippy said. "She did have a lot of characteristics of the innocent child archetype…"

"So… it was a coming-of-age story." Ferb said.

Zippy groaned. "You missed the whole point. All right, I'll start over…"

Phineas glanced at Lowe. Lowe seemed very calm. Annoyed, but calm. Phineas wished he could be like Lowe. He was shaking so much it was hard to keep his thoughts in order.

A glint in the corner of his eye caught his attention, and he looked up.

A grappling hook, dangling precariously from where it was hooked on a high shelf on the basement wall, directly over Zippy's head. If it fell from that height, it could probably knock Zippy unconscious.

But how to loosen it?

Phineas started to jump his chair around in an attempt to make the floor shake. Zippy paused in his story to watch.

"It's no use." He remarked. "I tied those ropes too tight, Cecil. You're only wasting your strength."

"Tell me about the imagery in the prologue." Ferb said.

"ENOUGH!" Zippy yelled. "Don't you two understand? THERE IS NO ESCAPE! I am the one who told the story of Knap! I am the one who manipulated everything to happen. I will be the one holding the pen that will write THE END. YOU HAVE LOST!"

Suddenly Phineas heard a deep growling noise from behind. He turned around to look.

A platypus was coming up behind them. Her hazel eyes were focused on Zippy.

"What the heck is that?" Zippy asked.

The platypus began to snarl.

"You." Lowe translated for the boys. "You are the one who fed him the mushroom."

A low, long growl, followed by a hiss.

"What does that mean?" Phineas asked.

"Translated less violently, I will tear you apart." Lowe said.

The platypus ran for Zippy and jumped on him, hissing and spitting. Zippy yelled and tried to shove her away.

More platypuses began to file into the basement, some waddling innocently down the stairs, others running straight for Zippy.

"Uh… could one of you help us out?" Phineas asked. "I mean, it's great you're attacking Zippy, but these ropes are really uncomfortable."

A platypus on two legs skidded to a halt next to them and began to undo Lowe's ties. She then scrambled off to join the battle.

Lowe pulled the rope restraining Phineas's hands. Phineas then undid Ferb's bonds.

"Where did all these platypuses come from?" Phineas asked.

"The first one we saw has a familiar bill shape." Lowe said. "I'd say they might be related to Perry."

"Perry's been busy." Ferb remarked.

"Oh, Ferb." Phineas shook his head.

Lowe laughed. "No, no. I'm thinking more along the lines of parents and siblings."

* * *

"Zippy Zegmo was arrested today for the attempted murder of a young teen and several animals." The news woman said. A picture of Zippy being led into the O.W.C.A prison by Monogram flashed onto the screen. "Zippy will be put into the O.W.C.A (Organization Without a Cool Acronym, please immediately forget this name) prison for life. This man was arrested thanks to the incredible sleuthing of local boys Phineas Flynn and Ferb Fletcher, agency therapist Lois Land, and of course, the entire "The Platypus" family. We shall now interview Pansy the Platypus, the one who discovered where Zippy was located and fought him along with her family."

Pansy chattered and held up a bowl of water with a leaf floating in it.

"Look at that." Perry grinned. "You two are famous."

"Puh-lease." Ferb said. "We were always famous."

"Your last name is Platypus?" Phineas asked.

"Of course not. It's Flynn-Fletcher." Perry said.

"But what about before you lived with us?" Phineas asked. "Was it Platypus then?"

"Nope." Perry said.

"So your last name was always Flynn-Fletcher? That's serendipitous."

"Well…" Perry sighed and pulled the bedsheets closer around himself. "When dad first moved to the zoo, the Berrytree family- that's the gorilla family that lives in the closest enclosure- asked him his name so they could know the family name of their new neighbor. He told them his name was Percy the platypus."

Ferb started to laugh. "Your last name is actually The Platypus?"

"Laugh it up." Perry rolled his eyes. "Dad tried to take the 'the' out earlier, but mom threw a fit."

"So your full name really is Perry The Platypus?" Phineas laughed. "That's awesome."

"I prefer Flynn-Fletcher." Perry said. "I might legally change it so I can start signing all documents like that."

"So, Mr. The Platypus, what will you be having for lunch this fine afternoon?" Phineas held up a bag of fast food.

"Shut up and give me my fries." Perry took the bag from Phineas. "So glad that creep's stuck in prison now. I figured out that he was a Knap follower after I saw him in some Evil Scientist show. He had posters of her on his wall. Unfortunately, I fell asleep before I got the information to anyone and then woke up with incredible stomach pains and had to be knocked out with the painkillers. I'm glad you were able to understand my gibberish."

"Actually, Lowe understood it." Phineas said.

"Phineas just thought you were crazy." Ferb said.

"Aw, you have no faith in me. I'm offended, Phin. After all I've ever done for you."

"I never said that." Phineas said. "Guess what we're gonna do today, Perry? We're finally gonna invent an antidote to cure you. And then tomorrow we'll invent a super healing pack to help heal Harry's head."

"Can't wait to get out of here." Perry said, sipping his chocolate shake. "And have things finally go back to normal…"

"Buh-lowfish." Ferb said.

Phineas laughed. "Technically, things are already back to normal."


	11. Chapter 11

Snow was blasting around outside.

"I'm bored." Phineas said.

"Well, I think today will be a perfect day." Candace said, looking out the window. "Now that there's a blizzard, you two can't build any crazy things."

"We've only ever built one crazy thing." Phineas said.

"The Crazy Museum." Ferb said.

"Oh yeah? What about the Buford Sanctuary?"

"What's so crazy about building a place where Bufords can graze and frolic in peace?" Phineas asked.

"What about the elevator to the moon? The entire world you built out of cheese? The ant farm?"

The boys looked at each other and shrugged.

"Ugh." Candace sighed. "Never mind."  
"You know, Ferb, we could build a giant snow park." Phineas said.

"NO." Candace said.

"Snow Park?" Said a voice. "More like Get Hypothermia Park. Last time I went out when it was this cold…"

"Perry! You're home!" Phineas jumped up and grabbed Perry. "The antidote worked!"

"Ow! You're gonna suffocate me!"

Phineas put him back down, grinning. Ferb patted him on the head.

"Ah, home." Perry smiled. "Feels like forever since I've been here. …Has it always smelled like burnt pepper?"

"Mother tried a new dinner experiment last night." Ferb said.

Perry took off his winter coat and shook the snow from it. "They advised me to stay until the blizzard went away, but I couldn't wait. They'll send my bears and stuff back in boxes. Man, it's nice to not be hooked up to an IV for once. And to actually be standing up. I almost forgot how to walk. It's so nice to be home!"

He ran up and hugged them.

"Thank you guys. Thank you so much for figuring out what was going on… and bringing me fries… and curing me… and… you guys are awesome."  
"Aww, anytime, Perry." Phineas said.

"Really?" Perry grinned. "Go get me some fries, then."

"Um…" Phineas looked out the window.

"Come on. I've walked in blizzards before without dying completely."

"We'll get you fries tomorrow." Phineas said.

"You're slacking off on your fry duties. You don't love me anymore. You only loved me when I was poisoned."

Phineas laughed. "Aw, Perry. We'll get you some tomorrow. I promise."

"Sure as the sun rises in the night sky." Ferb said.

Candace rolled her eyes.

"No. You're lying. You don't love me." Perry went over to the cabinet. "I must now drown my sorrows in chocolate cookies."

"Hey, those are mine!" Candace shouted.

"Cookies are for everyone." Perry said, grabbing a handful out of the box.

"EW! Phineas and Ferb, your platypus is getting hair in the cookies Jeremy got me."

"Don't worry." Perry said with his mouth full. "I'll save you one. Half."

Candace lunged for the box. Perry dodged her. Cookies spilled all over the floor.

"We should write our own book about how we solved the mystery of the Fall of the Fallen." Ferb said. "And call it the Fall of the Cookies."

"Yes, yes we should." Phineas said.

"Jeremy wants me to eat these cookies." Perry said. "He wouldn't have given them to you to put in the cupboard for me to find if he didn't."

"They're MINE!"

"Well, technically they're mine now, because they're all going into my belly."

"STOP EATING MY COOKIES!"

"You know Jeremy wanted it this way."

"Should we help them?" Phineas asked Ferb.

"Sometimes it is best to let others work out their differences themselves." Ferb said.

Phineas shrugged. "Yeah."

They left the kitchen. The sounds of scuffling grew fainter.

"YES!" Perry shouted. "I HAVE EATEN THEM ALL! Here's your half."

"PERRY, YOU LITTLE- I'M GONNA-"

"It's nice to have Perry home again." Ferb said.

"Yes." Phineas said happily. "Yes it is."


End file.
